Meditation – Why Is It So Difficult?
Meditating… always felt like one of the hardest things to do. I mean, was I really suppose to just “clear my head” and think about nothing? That’s not possible. For someone who is always on the go – working, going to school, volunteer work in my community, family, friends, all the things I have to do at home, the grocery list, and the list goes on.
But hey, for someone who was so busy and wanted to learn more about this new journey I was on, meditating would be an easy way to just try to relax. At least I would be able to lay down for a little bit 😉
So there I would be… trying to follow along in the meditation and focus on what was being said (even though I had no idea what most of it meant). “What are chakras? Am I suppose to be seeing something? Feeling something? Why am I so cold? Where is the tingling/numbing sensation coming from? Maybe I should see a doctor? What am I going to make for dinner tomorrow? “
By the end of the class, I was definitely more relaxed than when I came in and I was definitely ready for bed.
So this “not knowing” and “not fully understanding” continued for a while, but I insisted on continuing to go to class. No I hadn’t been able to “clear” my mind but I was able to organize it better during meditation. I always felt calm and relieved afterwards, so at least there was good coming from it. It was nice to take some time for myself every once in a while and relax.
The turning point in my meditation experiences was when I was told it’s okay to not have your head cleared completely. Thoughts are going to come. Let them come, and let them pass. That is when I began to realize that by doing this, and accepting the daily stress and thoughts to pass through my mind, I was able to then move onto the real part of meditation that I was and am meant to experience. Once I was able to get past the chaos, I was able to realize that I was receiving messages from my guides. They began coming so quickly that I couldn’t keep up with them all, and I found myself wishing I could just write it all down as quickly as possible. Ideas for work, ideas for personal growth, messages for friends of things they had been struggling with. The ideas for work – every step was shown, but had passed so quickly it was hard to remember and keep track of exactly what I was suppose to be doing. The first time after class that I had experienced this, I couldn’t contain my excitement. I went straight to my car and began writing everything down. I called my sister on my way home to tell her all these new ideas and how they were going to be a big hit. AND THEY WERE!
The first time I had tried meditating on my own at home, I listened to a recording by Sarah Hall through my headphones before I went to bed and about half way through I realized I was somewhere else. I was seeing something like I was actually there. Afterwards, I quickly wrote it down so that I did not lose it, or forget.
This is what I wrote:
“Vision while meditating of a women from the 50’s. Black and white. Maybe a picture. Short dark hair in a 50’s style outfit. Darker lipstick which stood out more than her eye makeup. Apple shaped cheeks. Big Smile. Looking right at me like she’s trying to tell me something or wants me to know something. Guide? Relative? Like I’m looking at only part of a picture. I don’t know who else is in the picture with her. White pearl earrings. Not a relative. Guide. Or just with me. After praying to Archangel Metatron. Angela? Angelica?”
I could see the other people in this “picture” but they were blurred images. She was the one I was meant to focus on. There were also other faces, but they were so close and passing by so quickly that I couldn’t make out any of their features.
I later found out that I had seen into the spirit world.